Monday, February 14, 2011

Every year, I always think that 14th of February is one of the loveliest days ever. Even though I dont have a "Valentine" to spend this special day with this year, it still feels really sweet seeing photos/updates of my attached friends on Facebook and Twitter about how they spent the special day with their special other half, and I really really feel very happy for them :)

So how do singles spend their valentine's day? Well, I spent mine in the school library. Exciting much? Haha. But thank God for friends who dropped by to visit with gifts, surprises. What made my valentine's day special this year is really, friends :)

Recently, many people have been asking me the same question about whether I have any plans of getting attached soon, whether I have anyone in mind, bla bla bla. Well, it seems like I've reached the acceptable age of getting into a stable relationship, and I guess its normal that such questions come flooding to me (again).

Well well well.

I feel that by nature, all humans yearn to be loved and wanted. Honestly, which of us wouldnt want someone who can love us for who we are, and someone who we can spend our good times and bad times with? :) Despite everything and anything that happened in the past, I still believe that being in love, is a wonderful thing.

But if you were to ask me if I have any plans to change my relationship status any time soon, then my answer would be.....

Not any time soon :) And there are many reasons as to why I feel that way.

Starting next week, I'll be stepping into a new turning point of my life - School of Theology 2011 :) For the next 6 months or so, I believe that it will really be a time of new encounters, new visions, new breakthroughs. And since I've decided to take the time, the money and of course the effort to enrol into SOT, I really want to experience the maximum fulfillment and purpose that I can get out of this entire journey, instead of being distracted by matters of the heart. While I'm in Bible School, I really wanna make use of this time to renew my commitment to God, and to fully focus on His will for my life. I also wanna believe by faith, that SOT will spell the beginning of an enlarging of my capacity in terms of my ministry, and I really wanna make full use of the time to serve God wholeheartedly and devote my time to improving myself as a servant of God :)

When it comes to relationships, all of us have our own stories to tell. Good or bad, sweet or sad, the heartbreaks, disappointments, memories, the many lessons learnt. One thing that I've been telling myself recently is that, I really dont wanna go through what I've went through before all over again.

Every relationship starts off by making you feel like youre at the top of the world, like there's nothing that the both of you cant overcome. When everything is sweet and lovey, every obstacle seems so insignificant, and in your eyes, this must be "the perfect one".

But a lot of times, in fact ALL the time, relationships require much much much much more than passion itself. There will definitely be times where conflicts, disagreements come into the picture because afterall, we are all imperfect. After a relationship lasts for some time, what really keeps the relationship going is really, commitment. Commitment is the foundation of every relationship. It spells being willing to stick through thick and thin with the one you love; it means that no matter how tough things get, I will protect you and your heart, because you have trusted me by giving your heart to me.

I truly believe that every single one of us deserves some one, who is willing to fight against circumstances, against emotions, against obstacles, just to be part of your life.

One of the reasons why I wouldnt want to get into another relationship so soon, is because I dont want to make another mistake about commitment again. And what is the best way to prove commitment? I guess the best answer that I can find, is time.

I have never doubted the fact that there are still many good guys out there that we ladies can be rest assured to commit our lives to. However, it is easy to say that someone is nice, but its an entirely different thing to know whether this person will choose to commit to making his relationship with you work.

I remember Pst MJ asking me before, "What exactly is nice? Everyone can be nice. But nice doesnt mean good. It doesnt mean you are in church means you are good. It doesnt mean that when youre in SOT, youre good."

There are many reasons why a relationship can work out/fail. Things like compatibility, personality, beliefs, age, background, preferences, family, common friends do play a part in all these. Sad to say, a nice guy doesnt necessarily mean the "perfect guy". Finding someone nice does not equate to knowing that a relationship with this person will definitely work out. Human relationships are much more complicated than knowing a person on the outside. What matters most is still, the heart of the person you are looking at. What matters is what the both of you value in a relationship. This is why very often, the process of getting to know the person who you are interested in, is way more important than the process of courtship itself.

Always make sure that you look carefully, before you fall.

And with that said, I dont want to rush into a relationship without having a solid foundation of friendship before we proceed to anything else, and I really really want to be sure about what I'm getting myself into this time. It is really so important to guard your heart and let your mind lead you to get certain thoughts and expectations right, before you let go and let your heart run crazily in love :)

These days, I've also been rethinking through about what is it that I really want in the guy that Im looking for. My cgl once told me before that it is so important to know exactly what you want so that in the future, when you have to make a decision about whether a particular person is suitable for you, you will have a clear idea about what you will never want to compromise on.

3 things that are on the top of my list:

1) Commitment

2) Must be able to lead me in all areas

3) Being my 'best friend'

I might be silly to think this way, but I believe that every girl deserves a guy who is willing to fight for her heart. To any guy, if you truly love someone, alot of times, it takes actions to prove how much you want her in your life. And to all the girls, never settle for anything less :)

For me myself, I just want somebody who wouldnt give me up for anything else in the world :)